been having issues for about two weeks now. so we rang my gp psycyeterist who first reasured me that i had nothing to worry about and b, that he might beable to carry my next apointment from june to may. he'll then refer me to charin cross with as stronger recomondation as he can. . .not acctualy to sure what his role is to be honest, but he said if i used him i prob wouldn't have to go through so much poo, i'd get my apointment faster i'm guessing and hoping illiminating the need for another inital contaltation of this kind
we then found a realy realy good sounding counceler. this woman is also a dancer, poet and spiriualist and has helped two folk go through a sex change before. she wants to 'work in the field', ie specielize in this sort of thing
i'v spoken to her and she sounds realy nice. i'm seeing her friday. yay
my partner's not doing to bad either, hopefully on the tenth she'll change her name, obtain her 'letter' and get her first referel, buting her on the map to overtake me maybe
i'm going back to the shop to moan about my computer in a mo
i'm realy happy though
there's a page somewhere out there which is like a counceling chatroom for transsexuals. has a realy strange name, just can't put my finger on the darn thing
last time i saw i was in welwyn garden city, and there was an issue with the laves at the local day centre. what i think basicly actualy happened was a new female member of staff had seen me use the wemen, no ploral, and kicked up a stink
what actualy happened on the day however was this;
well, following one or two instances in welwyn city centre, including getting hastle for initaly using the mens, i was livingas a woman as full time as humanly poss for the time
perticualy when using the day centre, where i felt safe. the set up, lav wise, was that they had ONE womans lave and ONE mens lave, both lockable and more or less identical, and i always always used the womens, which was fine for about nine months, then suddenly it wasn't
i had already been told it was perfecly fine with them for to live how i wished, i had turned up for some art theripy. i badly needed the loo by the time i got there but decided to go into the garden fst to say hi to everyone. after a short while i had to go, but just as i got there, i was stoped by a male member of staff, who i knew quite well, stoppdme sayng he wantttatme
he was obsvously nervouse, and when nervouse he could sound agressive. he pointed at one toilet then another door which turned out to be the dissabled and grunted 'could you either use that or that door please'
it took a while for the data to process. i told him that i only used the wemens and he said he knew and that was the prob. i curtanly didn't want to use the mens, and as for the other door i actualy thought he was pointing at the staff toilets, which might have coursed a stink. i think he did at one point mention that the disabled were unisex, but i just thought yeah, but if i'm not woman then i'm certainly not psysicly disabled, and how long would it be before i was put on the spot again
by the time i got into the main room again, i was livid, and still in need of a pee. another issue was that i felt that i wasn't being taken seriously, about me wanting to see the process to the verry end and have a full gender corrective sergery. i just wantedto have a pee and was fuming
i told them that i was not playing a game, that i am gd and that io should be respected just like all the other wemen, such as how i was, and still am, living. one member of staff didn't help by saying that i would not be leagly woman untill my final sergery. i promised that i was going tgo put in a seriouse complaint and get folk into lots of trouble, certainly stop this shit from happening again, and i stormed out, uncharictoristicly for me
i stormed straight into town, had a pee, in the ladies in a coffee shop, and then went straight to an internet cafe, typed some key words into a serch engine, came across this web sight and talked to a realy nice guy who guided me through the presedure of complaint
now, if i could only remember the damned words i used for the serch...
i can get the internet at home, yay!
i'm going to the loo, then i'm coming back. luxury
yup, just bought a new computer and found i can use my mobile phone as a modem, if needed, so, wev can party all night.
i'm off to look for hormones in a sec, so this won't be long, but Squirrel happy!
...don't feel so good. havn't updated for ages again i know, hope to remidy that soon.
soon, i will have a new pc. this alone makes me glad
i'm going to check my emails now
Hia. Im on my phone which is crazy. What is the justin archer song that goes 'son of a bitch you broke my heart i need a little loving to ease the pain' called? Also, if anyones in the stroud area on international womans day, 10th of march, im doing a spot of poetery and movment. Anyhoo, update later, spanks and kisses, tail massages and flutter's round tower records
this would be typical of my life to date.
maybe she fell asleep
today i went for a long<\i> walk. i was escaping from my nasty sw and went for an explor. the walk was wonderfull, i had i kip in a feild, huged a wonderfull big tree and met some cows, and got wrong directions from the nicest of couples
trouble was, i realy realy needed to be in a skirt, and only just have i found a charity shop in nailsworth so im off to box woods in a sec then home
a couple of nights ago i had a wonderfull dream that i were a Snail. without the slug part though the shell was alive. a yellow and black shell. this was to indicate transformation, into a beautifull, loved, little girl as aposed to an awkword, big, unexepted woman
and thats it realy, i only have a minute girl...
i'm getting a washermachine next week! yay! i realy realy realy can not wait!
yup, everythings looking on the up...pixipflower seems to just want to be realy good freinds which makes me happy
and i have enough for SHELVES!
i might go watch over the hedge in a bit
love and whiskers **********************************
...i havn't been on for ages YET AGAIN. soon, i will have a WASHER machine and all will be EASY!
well, i'v fallan HEAD OVER HEALS in love with a wiggle pixi troll i found on the three network and i'm trying to win her over. i tyhink i'm winning hee hee
and that's what i've been doing most of the week, talking to her. and last month was realy didicult
but i FINELY managed to voice my feelings of isolation at the gay meeting this i atend today. so we'll see how that goes.
so i don't know what else to say. i will keep yee updated with regards to my flower no doubts and i will try to be on soon.
poems, drums and lucid dreams